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“Treat your friends like you do your best pictures; place them in the best light.” ~Unknown I recently had a disagreement with a close friend.There was a good deal of uncontrolled emotion on my side. I became more and more frustrated and less effective at explaining my feelings.
Over the past ten years studies have charted a steady rise in how unhappy children between the ages of 10 and 17 are with their social relationships.
A recent Children’s Society report found that, from the 15 countries it surveyed, England’s youngsters between the ages of 8 and 12 are among the most likely to say that they have been left out by others in their class.
Also, consider if you have the proper perspective to deal with the potential consequences.
Email, texts, and cell phone calls are not an ideal way to introduce the need to talk about something substantial.
Children say that friends are the second most important factor, after their families, in making them feel good about themselves.
So helping them to navigate difficult and complex relationships is…Try and stay in the moment and minimize added drama by bringing up old or irrelevant issues.It’s fine to be heard, but if you are not listening to the other’s response, the discussion is pointless.It was my inability to effectively convey what was in my heart and on my mind that led to hurt feelings and further misunderstanding.After much self examination, I’ve come up with a few tips to communicate effectively during a conflict. In my case, I felt I needed to bring the subject up right then or I might not have gotten the nerve again.These things never help to fix a problem and ultimately bring more hurt to all involved.These include, ultimatums, yelling, threatening to cut off the friendship, name calling, and personal attacks. Breathe, step back and allow some time before you try again.I was embarrassed and grateful, but I realized I needed to evaluate a few of my shortcomings to avoid making the same mistake again.I also realized that what I was feeling wasn’t the problem.There is a marked difference in avoiding a hard topic and thoughtfully planning the ideal time to have a potentially difficult conversation.If you begin a difficult conversation starting from a place of controlled emotion and grace, the path will be smoother. Most of the progress in relationships comes from a series of discussions as they unravel naturally.